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A New Picture from Scattered Puzzle Pieces

Friday, February, 26, 2010

From Bereavement Service Staff (R. Berryhill & L. Kunkle)

 "Who am I, now that my loved one has died?  I feel like a scattered  thousand-piece puzzle."

 Here are some suggestions to help put the pieces into a new picture:

1. Honestly and specifically identify your feelings.  Don't deny them.
2. Focus on one worry at a time.  Decide which worries to keep and which send to your mother, children, family, neighbor, enemy.
3. Read more about grief.  Talk to a confidant. Chat on-line at 2 a.m. on a credentialed grief website.
4. Be kind to yourself. Don't should on yourself.
5. Set and do small goals, then try bigger ones. (Take the trash out on the right day, then another day open the closet.... the drawers... the heart. Try going out. TAKE YOUR TIME. It's a long way to the beach. You'll get there... someday.)
6. Begin to make friends with the vacuum, the checkbook, the car.
7. Don't lose memories just because they hurt.  Look at pictures, listen to the song, remember the love.... you haven't lost that.
8. Remember, there's a new picture to be made of those scattered pieces.  Search for that scene.  Search for the new you.... Search for the new person you're becoming.

                                      (adapted from grief specialist and humorist, Darcie Sims)

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